Aging is natural in life and conversations about life transitions are important to be discussed; however, not all generations or personalities find it easy to talk about. It could be an older adult that wants to talk about changes in their life, but their children don’t want to think that their parent is getting older. Some older adults don’t want to ‘burden’ their family members or are fearful that if they do, they will have to give up or lose their independence.
It’s complicated work, but incredibly important to talk and ask the older people in our lives what they want and truly listen to their answers. Creating conversations can bring clarity and mental ease for both you and the older adult on their needs and wishes when it comes to where and how they want to live, life, death, finances, care etc.
Learn. Do your research and prepare yourself before talking to your older person. Take time to discover what services your community has to offer seniors and learn about Aging In Place. The United Way has an online Aging- In -Place toolkit that is helpful as discussion prompts and checklists for your conversations. There are more than 1 million family caregivers in BC and that number is expected to increase in the coming years. The Family Caregivers of BC website has terrific resources and programs to support this volunteer work. Let’s Talk About Aging Parents, by Laura Tamlyn Watts, is a new book full of excellent resources, conversations and tips for navigating complex emotions. A copy of this book is available for borrowing at the Senior Support/ Community Connector Office, located at the Senior Activity Center.
Just remember, do not judge- it’s the older person's life and approach your older person with gentle curiosity. Remember your ‘I’ statements and all adults are entitled to live in the manner they wish.
You can always use this article as a jumping off point- ask if they read it? Bring them a copy. Take the opportunity to learn about aging- it could change your perspective on your current life habits and/or views and expectations for retirement, health care, social support and finances.
Suzanne Cochrane is the financial literacy and community outreach for Cariboo-Chilcotin Partners for Literacy