An award-winning speaker, author and advocate against domestic abuse and survivor will be at the Salvation Army in Williams Lake Saturday, Oct. 20 for a signing of her latest book.
Kamal Dhillon’s new self-published book, I am Kamal: Survivor to Thriver, was released on Sept. 12.
It details her life, how she stayed in a marriage and endured heart-wrenching pain with fear. Dhillon, a Surrey resident, has visited the lakecity on several occasions to lead workshops on domestic violence.
Read more: Surrey Woman’s tell-all book aims to help those struggling with domestic violence
The book is a follow-up to her first one, Black and Blue Sari, which was released in 2010.
“I write about my struggles and obstacles knowing my story could give others hope, maybe even save someone’s life,” Dhillon said of what has compelled her to share her experience.
“In my books I can also show others how to come alongside a victim.”
Writing is difficult, she admitted, noting it was 18 years ago that she left her husband.
“I have to revisit the whole thing and for the reader it’s one thing to think about the violence, but it’s another thing to journey with me to a dark place.
Violence itself is the most degrading, most harmful and most fearful when you are in it.”
Response to her writing and presentations have been overwhelmingly positive and beyond what she expected from any community, let alone her own South-Asian community.
“I was afraid of how the elders and how the perpetrators would see me and would I be a threat to them and would they want to silence me? I had so much fear after the book was released, but it didn’t take long to see how the community responded. It was so positive. In fact my community started to bestow awards on me — woman of the year and most courageous.”
It was an eye-opener that her message was so-needed and people had been waiting for someone to speak up because lots of their daughters were suffering, she added.
Originally from India, Dhillon moved to Canada in her early teens.
She married at 18 to her husband, who was 26.
For 12 and a half years he abused her, she said.
“There were several attempted murders, forced suicides and there were times initially I would beg to live and in the middle somewhere I gave up and thought it would be easier to let go and die than live and suffer.”
Eventually her husband took her out of Canada to his family in India where she said she was held hostage for four years with her four children.
“I had to escape without my children to come back to Vancouver.”
During her ordeal she received no help from the police or anyone else, she said.
“No one believed my story, not even my family. I fought my battle alone and fought for my children alone.”
As a result of domestic abuse she had 16 major surgeries. Ten of those have involved developing a reconstructed jaw. She has no nerves in her face.
“To an outside person listening in to a victim say ‘he hit me’ or ‘he beat me,’ they may not realize that punch or slap could have fractured her face or another part of her body,” she said. “That’s what I am showing in the books — that it has left a life-long injury from which she may never recover.”
Fifteen years ago her husband drowned.
For eight years she has been travelling to different police detachments to talk with police and regularly lectures at the Justice Institute to new recruits.
“I’m not saying all women are victims and that all men are perpetrators but I want people to know that violence is not OK.”
Today Dhillon is single and said her life is very busy.
She has four grandchildren and a dog she loves to spend time with.
“Rest doesn’t come easy so when I can rest, I do,” she said.
The book signing begins at 3 p.m. at the Salvation Army Family Services, 272 Borland Street.
Her book is self-published.
Read more: Christian Leaders Network works to make Williams Lake a better place
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