David Russell
LCSS Valedictorian
Oh yeah baby!
I’d like to start off by thanking friends, family, teachers, principals, School District 27 staff, supporters, and community members for coming to the graduation ceremony for Lake City Secondary’s Class of 2017.
After 18 years of living, 12 grades of school, and countless nights pondering the meaning of life, I have observed, analyzed, reasoned, concluded, and ultimately come up with a couple facts about school.
First, high school washrooms are disgusting.
If not for the efforts of Dennis and the other janitors, we’d probably have a new disease.
Second, English 12 is really hard, but still not as hard as doing my own laundry.
I may not know how to use Borax in a washing machine, but at least I know how to formally analyze an episode of Sponge Bob.
Finally, I’ve learned that there are only three kinds of people in this school.
There are smart people. There are not so smart people. And that’s it. (insert laughter)
If you are one of the smart people, then congratulations! You graduated! Hooray!
If you are one of the not so smart people and still managed to graduate, then congratulations as well because you possess the real-world skill of using your good looks and charm to suck up to teachers.
But seriously guys, we made it. We’re graduating.
It was a long, hard-fought battle, but high school was full of memories that we’ll never forget.
Like in Grade 8, when you were nervous for your first day at the big school, you had four teachers instead of one, and you didn’t know where any of your classes were.
Or in Grade 9, that colossal year when rival high schools, Williams Lake and Columneetza, joined together as one, creating a most epic slamming together of peanut butter and jam.
Though there was much tension between students of opposite schools, it was a prosperous year because the dreaded double blocks of Grade 8 were forever banished from the high school kingdom. In Grade 10, we were deeply traumatized when we learned about Sex Ed in Planning Class.
In Grade 11, well, nothing much happened in Grade 11 except for when that one guy rode a dirt-bike through the hallways.
That was pretty cool. And ultimately Grade 12, when English 12 either sent you home crying or put your brain into a coma.
But even through all the cherished and fond moments, there were hard times, too. Think of all the struggles we’ve endured together as a grad class.
The mountains of homework that kept you up ’til midnight. That time when you brought pizza money for lunch but there was no pizza.
Having fire drills in the middle of winter, freezing our butt cheeks off in the name of safety. (Hunger Games salute). We salute you, frozen butt cheeks.
Or perhaps the most difficult of all our hashtag first world struggles: English 12.
Times have changed through our growing up.
We used to read Archie comics; now, we just watch Riverdale on Netflix.
We used to have Justin Bieber; now, we have Jacob Sartorius.
Plus, unless you failed a grade, we are the last graduating class to be born in the 90s.
You, grads, have persevered through all the changes. And soon, you will be entering the real world as adults; a world full of taxes, mortgages, changing diapers, and actually having to pack your own lunch.
It will be tough, but in the words of Smash Mouth, you’ll never know if you don’t go, and you’ll never shine if you don’t glow.
And if I’ve learned one thing about you guys, it’s that – whether you are one of the smart people or one of the not so smart people – you, the Class of 2017, can accomplish anything you put your mind to.
You are an inspiration to the rest of Williams Lake, you are the future, and I am confident that you, as individuals, will have a major impact on the world we live in.
Good luck, grads, and God bless.